Pushy Parents

“I’m caught right in the middle! Even the parents of my students don’t like my mentor and want to intervene. They want the best for the children as well as for me, the new teacher. But my mentor is a disaster and the worst role model I could possibly imagine!”

Such was the dilemma for Nancy, a brand new seventh grade social studies teacher at a middle school in Sacramento, California. Part of the new teacher induction program included four half-days to observe mentoring teachers in their classrooms. Nancy had already done two observations of her mentor, Joan, and was all but appalled about what she saw.

“I have never seen the bar set so low and the standards so compromised as I did when I observed my mentor teacher teaching 6th grade social studies. It was as if she was from another planet.  She is way too easy, and keeps saying how she wants me to be just like her! She has boring lectures, allows open notes on all tests all of the time, there are no deadlines for homework, and she permits students to take collaborate on tests.  Is this sound learning? On top of this, her entire class is based around the textbook, and there are very few activities. I don't like how she teaches. I think she’s really given up. Sadly, she is only 35 years old. I’m really feeling desperate. Is this what teaching is really like? Is this what other teachers are like?”

Although Nancy knew that Joan was not the best model of a teacher, several of her parents even complained that this assigned mentor was not going to work out.  Nancy’s mentor had a reputation in the school community of being a bad teacher, and when the parents found out that their child’s brand new teacher was asked to work closely with Joan, they went straight to the principal, bypassing Nancy. Because of tenure laws, the parents knew that Joan was “here to stay,” but they wanted Nancy to be reassigned to another mentor for the good of their children.

“You know it’s not a good sign when even the parents complain about your mentor. Had I known they were going to express their concerns to the principal before even asking me, I would have certainly stepped in. But I thought, well, let them get the ball rolling and see if we can get the situation fixed before the school year moved on. My biggest concern was how to keep Joan’s feelings from getting hurt.  My worst fear was that the parents would come to me and ask me for comments about Joan's teaching methods (or lack thereof) and use that to build a case for termination against her. I wanted to make an appointment with the principal and clear things up before they got ugly, but this was already draining enough energy from me, and I started to lose focus with the real task at hand, teaching my 7th grade students.

Questions

1. How should Nancy discuss the situation when she meets with the principal. What kinds of documentation should she bring to the meeting?
2. Should she approach her mentor, Joan, and lay out the facts, as she sees it, on the table?
3. What kinds of strategies should she implement to keep the parents at bay?
4. What’s the worst thing that she could do make matters even more complicated?

• Write a newsletter or develop ways to get parents involved in the classroom on a regular basis.  A first grade teacher may implement a system where a parent visits the classroom to read to the class every Friday afternoon.  A high school teacher may write a blog on the school website to describe what students are learning in Chemistry.
• Provide parents with a specific, hands-on responsibility at home.  A third grade teacher can urge parents to be a Word Wizard—parents have the opportunity to work on the meanings and spellings of words in a weekly list.  For older students, teachers can incorporate assignments that require students to have discussions with their parents.  A Social Studies teacher could have her students interview parents about the ways that their childhoods were different than the students’.
• “Address parents' concerns head on. If you are taking a pedagogical approach that raises questions, work to show parents the benefits of your methods and explain your reasoning to them.”  i  Parents are often receptive to discussions about the philosophical approach that teachers have to their classroom practice.  Promote an understanding of the methods being used in the classroom.  Share specific examples of the success of these methods to parents.
• Take advantage of Open House to show parents all of the ways that they can be involved.  This is the perfect opportunity to discuss the role of parents in the education of their children.  If your school does not have a forum for this, be active and contact parents at the beginning of the year with phone calls, e-mails, newsletters, or even home visits.  Always leave time for parents to ask questions.  If there is a question that you cannot answer, politely explain that you do not know or that the answer requires further thought.  Emphasize that you will contact parents to let them know the answer as soon as possible.
• Emphasize the myriad ways that parents can contact you, and always be appreciative when parents reach out to you.  Provide parents with your phone number, e-mail address, and any other applicable information for contacting you at school.  Doug Fiore asserts that providing contact information outside of the school building can have positive results; “Experience has shown us over and over again that providing parents with your home phone number does not increase phone calls to your home. Let's face it, if a parent wants to contact you at home, they will often find a way to do so. Providing parents with your phone number is a tremendous way to demonstrate that you care and that you want to be accessible. For most parents, that will be the clear implication when you give out your phone number. In reality, the opposite reaction from what you'd expect usually occurs. Parents don't call you at home because they assume that you already get lots of calls at home. They recognize how much you care, and they are often more willing to wait and talk to you at school.”   Of course, your comfort level will dictate whether or not you decide to use Fiore’s strategy, but it is interesting to understand the dynamic at play.  The gesture increases trust, and this trust leads to respect.  If you don’t want to give out your phone number, consider other ways to make a gesture that increases trust.
• But—also set boundaries.  Always be polite and professional when interacting with parents, but be a self-advocate when it comes to your time.  Parents need to know that you care about their children, but they must also understand that you are not on-call 24 hours a day.